With the holidays coming up, I think it is worth taking a look at the way we experience them.  Holidays are rituals of connection in our life, ways that we come together and spend meaningful time around values we want to honor, cherish, or have fun with.  If we dread the holidays, there could be different reasons for this.  Some of us may be feeling the loss of someone in our lives that means the holidays this year may be bittersweet with memories and loss.  Perhaps, though, we have not taken the time to talk with our partners and family about how we want to move through this time together.  Or if we have not talked about this recently and things have changed in our lives since the last holiday season.

It may be important to think about how this time of our lives may change as well (perhaps when the kids are in college it is time to re-think the Santa suit).  Maybe we are a new couple and are looking forward to the holidays for the first time together.  If you don’t already know, check in with each other and share how the holidays were celebrated in the past for you and what you liked and/or disliked about them.

When thinking about the upcoming holidays, consider taking time to ponder the following questions with your partner and/or family:

• What is meaningful about this for you?
• When will this be done?
• How often will it be done?
• How long should it last each time?
• Who will initiate what?
• What will happen next?
• How will it end?
• How can we integrate this into our lives so we can count on it?

These kinds of conversation are great date night conversations to have! My parents led us in holiday celebrations that shifted and changed over the years.  From making tamales with extended family, to Christmas on the beach in Mexico when my brother and I were in High School, the activities changed, but the focus was on what was meaningful for us a family: spending time together, enjoying good food, relaxation, and playing the occasional prank on one another (like the time swim trunks were stolen from the patio of the hotel room overnight, then mysteriously showed up after breakfast wet with salt water, “My goodness, someone borrowed them for a swim!”).  Now, my husband and I celebrate the holidays through choosing different exotic recipes we want to try and share with family members, with half the fun being scouring our library of cookbooks to create an interesting menu and heading out to find the ingredients we need to be able to make the meal together.

Whatever holiday ritual you choose to celebrate in the coming months (from Halloween to New Years and beyond), may you find ways to make the season meaningful and full of joy!

If you are having trouble with the holiday season, remember Theraryp2Thrive is here to help. Just give us a call 925-998-3392.