Our couple’s therapy and counseling approach is based on the latest marital research and methods of Dr. John Gottman and the Gottman Institute. This research which began in 1972 continues to this day and is used with cultures around the world.

The therapy is structured, goal-oriented and scientifically based on forty plus years of research with couples.  Called the Gottman Method Couple Therapy, the theory and interventions are developed from what the research shows actually works to help couples create sustainable long-term healthy relationships.

Gottman Method Counseling Approach

Our marriage counselors in Pleasanton are using the Gottman Method. The counseling approach with the Gottman Method is unique from other types of couple’s therapy due to its Partner-to-Partner emphasis.  More traditional forms of couple’s therapy have the therapist serving as a moderator between the couple which has the greater possibility of the couple becoming “therapy (or therapist) dependent.”  In contrast, when a couple engages in a dialogue about a problem, the Gottman Method couple’s therapist or counselors only intervenes to facilitate and/or teach the couple how to return to a constructive Partner-to-Partner dialogue.  The research shows that this in-the-moment intervention with one Partner by the Gottman Method therapist, serves to create a memory that is more likely to be retrieved by the couple when they are not in the therapy room.  As a result, the Gottman Method therapist provides the intervention, tool or skill but the real work is done Therapist-to-Partner-to-Partner rather than Partner-to-Therapist-to-Partner.  At the end of therapy, a couple will know how to deepen their friendship, break through and manage their conflict when they feel stuck, resolve solvable problems and increase their respect, affection and closeness with each other.

Read the five parts of The Gottman Method Couples Therapy…

Read more about our Treatment and Counseling Approach

The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work

Is a research-based day-long couples workshop developed by Dr. John Gottman. For over 30 years, Dr. Gottman scientifically analyzed the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail and established a method of correcting the behaviors that puts thousands of marriages on the rocks.

Through this workshop our marriage counselor in Pleasanton helps couples focus on the small but important moments that make up the heart and soul of every relationship. Straightforward in its approach and easily understood this workshop will teach you new strategies, skills and behaviors that create a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Each couple also receives take-home materials that help fine-tune the skills learned during the workshop.

This workshop is structured according to Gottman’s research-based 7 Principles.

1. ENHANCE YOUR LOVE MAPS. Develop a stronger and more richly detailed understanding of your partner’s world.
2. NURTURE YOUR FONDNESS AND ADMIRATION. Learn strategies and behaviors that nurture your fondness and admiration for each other.
3. TURNING TOWARDS EACH OTHER INSTEAD OF AWAY. Understand what this looks like in your relationship, what the research means in regards to this, and how this process thrives in the everyday little things that becomes the basis for your love, passion and connection with each other.
4. LET YOUR PARTNER INFLUENCE YOU. Create a sense of teamwork between you that considers both partners feelings and perspectives.
5. SOLVING YOUR SOLVABLE PROBLEMS. Learn the skills to solve your relationship’s solvable problems and how these skills may be different from the ones you need for perpetual problems.
6. OVERCOME YOUR GRIDLOCK. Improve your ability as a couple to manage conflict for problems that reach gridlock.  Gridlock is often a sign of an unfulfilled dream.
7. CREATE A SHARED MEANING.  Understand what it means to be a part of the family you have become where your dreams, your perspectives, your roles and goals create shared meaning that is more than just raising kids, sharing chores, and paying the bills.