Tips for Returning Your Children to School
Therapy2Thrive® Pleasanton
925.426.1575
Tips for Returning Your Children To School
1) Apply Emotion Coaching Strategies
It is important to not only address the feeling of the parent and also the feelings of the child as we move closer to the first day of school. Perhaps parental/caregiver guilt is starting to set in, or the child is anxious as they transition from middle school to high school. It is important to not only check in with ourselves but also to check-in with our child which is simply a fancier way of saying: talk to your child. Ask open ended questions. Be specific. Be present in the moment so you really hear their answers. Summarize and validate your child’s feelings.
Depending on the age of your child, you may only get in a few open ended questions at a time but take advantage of when you can ask those questions. Be creative and choose the time wisely so to not cause more frustration for yourself and the child. Make sure you have their full attention. For example, in the car, while they are in the bath, or when you tuck them in at night.
It is important to not only hear the child’s feelings, concerns, anxieties, and stresses but to truly acknowledge them. Be empathetic and supportive. Reassure and do not attempt to problem solve. It is important for the child to understand that all these feelings are completely normal for any child that is transitioning back to school. Summarize and validate the child’s emotions is all that is needed. Keep in mind it is possible to transition without trying to problem solve and ultimately if the child is less stressed than it will carry over to the parents.
As a mother myself, I have found the following tips and tools to be helpful no matter what the age of the child.
2) Create and stick to a routine.
Summer brings a certain freedom to children as their routines differ or are simply non-existent. Routines are not only important for children, but also for their parents. With the return to school, there are several ways in which parents can get back on a routine and make it less stressful not only for them but for their children. Start to have a conversation with your child about what you expect. How much time do you think, or do they think they need in the morning (depending on the age of the child?) Breakfast can be quick, but that time also needs to be factored into the busy morning. Does the child walk, ride their bike, take the bus, or do they get driven? What is the time in which they need to leave so that they are there on time? As the parent do you need to get up earlier than your kids to get yourself ready to better assist them? Did you factor in a few minutes for some deep breaths as the morning starts to pick up? And don’t forget to feed the dog. And do they get a walk? It is essential to start the routine early in the year so that everyone knows what to expect and what is expected of them so that the morning runs smoothly. It is imperative to also add an afterschool routine. What time and where is pick-up? Homework before screen time? Extra-curricular activities start and end at what time? Dinner. Showers. Bed. I am now exhausted just thinking about it but the sooner you create a routine, the better. It will become second nature to everyone.
3) Prep nutritious meals and snacks.
It may feel like a bother on a Sunday afternoon or night to prep meals and snacks, however, I assure you that as the week progresses to not only include school but the extra-curricular activities (for the kids) or late meetings and commute traffic (for the parents) you will be so thankful when you can just slide that lasagna or tray of enchiladas in the oven after a long day. Cut fruits and veggies. Put individual wrapped snacks in a drawer or bin in the pantry for kids (or yourself) to have in the ride to soccer practice. After all, no one functions well when they are hungry. It will not only save time, but it will save money rather than stopping and picking up a to-go order from your favorite restaurant.
4) Pack backpacks and lunch boxes the night before.
Lay out clothes for school and equipment for the after-school sports/activities.
It only takes a few extra minutes at the end of the day and depending on the age of the child they can certainly assist with these tasks. Make sure the field trip forms are signed, and the books/notebooks/pencils are put back in their backpack after the homework session. For the little children teaching them to help with these tasks will help you (and them) in the long run. In addition, when they help you pack their lunch you can be reassured that there are items in their lunch that they will actually want to eat. For the middle school and older children, they can most certainly pack their own lunches and pick out their own clothes. I am not saying this is going to eliminate the multiple outfit changes, but we must start somewhere. And how many times has the shin guard, cleats, or mouthpiece disappeared when you needed it most?
By Nicole Manning AMFT at Therapy2Thrive counseling center in Pleasanton
5) Practice Self-Care
It is important to remember as the household is approaching the transition from summer to school that self-care is not selfish. Especially when we are the parent/guardian or loved one to a child. Raising children is not easy and there are times that it will take an army. Remind yourself that you are no good to anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself. Try and carve out a few minutes for yourself. Prioritize. Read a few pages of a book. Meditate. Do nothing for 30 minutes. Blast your favorite song in the car. Walk the dog. Ride the Peloton. Journal. Call a friend or a supportive family member (even just for a few minutes). Caring for yourself (and your child) will be better at the end of the day. You got this!
Give yourself credit for facilitating your children through another transition!! Well done!!
Therapy2Thrive™ brings Hope for Healing
Our counselors at Therapy2Thrive™ provide compassionate, practical, and evidenced based practices to assist you in the therapeutic process to meet your goals and find hope to heal the challenges you are facing.
Contact our family counselor in Pleasanton for private consultation.