Real Friendships Last a Lifetime or Do They

 

In honor of National Friendship Day, Sunday, August 4, 2019, let us talk about friendships and Taylor Swift’s essay for ELLE’s April 2019 issue, where, she wrote about friendships versus situationships. While I understand what Taylor was trying to say about how some friendships do not last forever, and that you are only friends with someone because of the circumstances surrounding you at that time in your life. I disagree with the negative undertones implied in having a situationship. A situationship is when you have a relationship because of the time or place you are in, but when those circumstances change, then you are no longer friends. Additionally, I do agree with Taylor that friendships portrayed through the media or on social media impact our ability to appreciate our own friendships and feelings of contentment.

Moreover, the media focused on the fact that Taylor is admitting that these were not “true” friendships and that she should not have acknowledged them the way she did or celebrated them. I disagree. I have come to believe that every healthy friendship should be celebrated, even if the friendship stayed for just a particular stage of your life. Most friendships will be temporary, few actually last forever, and all are important and help us grow. A situationship is still a friendship and can still be deep and meaningful. Let us not minimize friendships just because they did not last forever. You get to determine the importance of your own friendships.

What is more, in her essay, Taylor further elaborates that she felt isolated and left out most of her life. When she finally did get friends, she splashed it all over her social media. Consequently, this may have made other young women feel the way she had felt for so long, isolated and alone. It is important that this was acknowledged because people view social media and compare their friendships to others’ exaggerated portrayals of friendships. This can lead to more isolation and increased depression. People put too much pressure on themselves to have deep meaningful friendships or think that everybody else is having deep, meaningful friendships. The truth is we cannot compare friendships because only the people in the friendship know the depths and importance of that relationship.

As a final point, friendship is a personal thing, and each person needs friendships to exist differently in their lives. In addition, a person’s needs around their friendships might change.  Some people need lots of friends, others might only need one or two.  It feels like society tries to tell us what kind of friendships and how many we should have. Social media is based around how many followers or likes you get, implying that more is better, but followers are not friends, and those that have millions can still feel lonely and friendless. If you are satisfied in and with your friendships, even if they are just situationships then they are enough.