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Gathering Around the Dinner Table: A Hispanic/Latinx Perspective on Mental Health
Mental health can be a common topic for some but not for all families or communities. Mental health affects everyone, all cultures, all ethnicities, all shapes, and all sizes. As a Hispanic/Latinx woman, I never quite understood the importance of mental health. Growing up in a Mexican household, we never really spoke about mental health or even what mental health was about. One can think, “If you don’t talk about it, it’s not really there.”, WRONG. It is there, and it is important. You are important, and your mental health is important.
Sometimes these topics are not always easy, especially if you are living in a household in which the topic of mental health is never brought up. Looking back, I realized my mother was always closely looking at our mental health even though I never saw it this way. I always thought she was just trying to see what we were up to and check to see if we were up to no good! She made us all sit around the dinner table each afternoon when my Dad would arrive from work. This was mandatory in my household. Even if I would come home from school and I was starving, I was given a snack to satisfy my hunger until dinner time. Ugh! I would think while waiting for my Dad to arrive. As soon as my Dad would arrive, the dinner table was set, and we would all gather around. My Dad would then begin to tell us about his day and then ask each one of us about ours. Our conversations sometimes started very superficial, but they always had a way to get underneath, to how we were really feeling. We would share our day, goals, and even our fears. It was a way of getting to know how we felt but also a way to help us cope with our daily stressors. I later came to realize it was my father’s way of coping with his own anxiety, sitting down and letting it all go for his kids as well as creating an opportunity for us to share our stories too.
Talking and sharing your day, goals or even fears can have a positive effect on your mental health, even if it is as simple as saying you need help in math. I remember the weight on my shoulders would somehow disappear. The simple fact of letting my parents know how I felt each day or what my mind was up to helped carry me through some tough times. My parents or my siblings would be able to comfort me, show support, or even just by them listening, it would show me they cared. I have learned that this is a technique that therapists use to help families and couples reduce stress and support one another in families.
By Elisabeth Leon, Executive Administrative Assistant at Therapy2Thrive counseling center in Pleasanton
Picture Credits: National Cancer Institute
In many Hispanic/Latinx households it might feel like we do not believe in mental health. However, it is not that, it can be as simple as not knowing how to react, how to help or even how to start a conversation about it. I used to think my parents only wanted to pry into our personal life, but it was more for them, it was an open door to our mental and emotional wellbeing. It was a door to see how we were coping with growing up in a community that was not remarkably diverse, it was checking on us to see if there was anything they needed to worry about. Growing up in a Spanish speaking household within an English speaking community was already a huge stressor, it was much more than just my belief at that time that I had “prying parents”. I wish younger me had the knowledge older me has now, I could have shared a lot more things with them and possibly learned sooner the importance of mental health. I can now see their wisdom and the care in their actions.
There are ways to bring on a conversation with your children, adolescents, or teens about mental health. It can all start with a weekly family dinner, cooking a meal together, or as simple as doing a chore together. I encourage you as parents and caregivers and you as a child or teen to speak up, have conversations, build family tradition, build bonds, communication is key. It is not always easy to reach out for help when it comes to mental health, but there is someone here for you. If you or your family need assistance a counselor can help. We All struggle sometimes, or feel confused, or want to know what is going on and make sense of our world, having someone on your side can make a difference. Anxiety, depression, and stress can hit all ages and all ethnicities. No one is exempt. It is real, it is difficult and sometimes it goes unnoticed. Reach out for help and know you are important and that things can get better.
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Contact our family counselor in Pleasanton for private consultation.