Finding the Stars on Your Way to the Moon

Do you ever have an idea or want to set a goal for yourself that you later give up on because someone tells you it isn’t achievable? Maybe they laugh a little under their breath when you tell them what your plan is? Or, maybe life just feels so chaotic and overwhelming that the thought of setting a particular goal is too much to handle? The goal simply seems too unattainable? We have all been there. We have all set out with the moon as our destination and feel like it is light years away and impossible to get to. We’ve dreamed “big” and wondered what it would be like for our dreams to come true. Too often than not, however, we leave those dreams in dreamland and go about our day because something in our lives -our past experiences, traumas, society’s misconstrued idea of what we are capable of, insecurities or even age- has made us believe that we shouldn’t waste our time trying to make our dreams and our goals reality.

I’ve worked in a few different clinic settings where clients have been told that their goals are unattainable, set too high or are unrealistic. Each time I hear this, I cringe. I cringe because one thing I’ve learned in becoming a Marriage and Family Therapist is that some of the biggest accomplishments my clients make happen because they were striving to achieve their highest goal or make their biggest dream come true. It is so important to set goals for yourself and dream big. Even if you do not reach the moon, you will undoubtedly find stars on your journey, and sometimes those stars are exactly what you need to better your life and be the person you want to be.

Whether you are 5 years old or 90 years old, there is no age requirement on goals and dreams and there is certainly no expiration date on your capability of accomplishing what you set your mind to. Maybe your child is 5 years old and wants to be a basketball star or the President of the United States. Great! In his/her effort to make those dreams come true he/she will have to set goals for themself that will likely better his/her athleticism or further his education and social skills. Maybe you are 40 years old and wanting to start a new career as a teacher. Wonderful! Striving to achieve that goal may lead you to taking more time for yourself to further your education or to feel more empowered every day to overcome that depression you’ve been struggling with because you have been feeling so hopeless. Maybe your family member is 90 years old, in a wheelchair, feeling depressed and really wanting to walk again. While walking may not be in the cards for them, it’s the hope that people need. The walking is the moon, the hope, while the stars that they will reach along the way are going to be the accomplishments they make because they are trying their best to walk again. Building strength in your legs, arms and core can build mobility and increase your loved ones ability to enjoy all daily activities. This encourages them to work their physical therapy program or maybe it encourages them to join the senior citizen center and attend outings. Whatever the outcome, they will feel better day to day because of the hope they have created for themselves.

So, if you or someone else tells you or makes you feel like a goal is unattainable, just remember, there are a whole lot of stars that you have to pass on your journey to the moon and stars are really worth checking out! Stars is where are the sparkle is!!

By Crystal O’Connell, M.S, MFT Associate
Past Associate at Therapy2Thrive, a family counseling center in Pleasanton