Here are 5 different CBT techniques to try in order to address some of those pesky negative holiday thoughts.

1. The straight forward approach – Replace the negative thought with a more positive and realistic thought.
   • Example: “I hate my family.” “My family is the worst.” Find one or two things that you appreciate about your family and focus on that with a thought like: “My family can be difficult at times but I appreciate….or at least they…..”
   • Example:  “Everyone is judging me.” Focus on a thought like this instead: “People may be judging me but I’m doing the best I can.” “People can judge me, I’m not perfect but no one is.”
2. Examine the Evidence – most negative thoughts are based on assumptions so instead of believing your thought, first examine the actual evidence.
   • Example: “Nobody likes me.” “I’ll be alone and rejected.” If you are thinking this, stop and examine the evidence, meaning ask these two questions:
     • What evidence do I have to support this thought?
     • What evidence do I have that goes against this thought?
   • It is likely that after answering these questions HONESTLY you’ll be able to create a less hurtful thought.
3. The survey method – ask others their experience/thoughts/feelings (my favorite because as a therapist I am lucky enough to get to hear from lots of people and have learned that quite often we are never alone in our struggles)
   • Example: “Everyone else loves the holidays.” “I’m not enough and can’t do it all.” Ask a trusted friend or a random stranger (multiple people if you need to) if the holidays are the best time of year for them? or if they get stressed about the holidays? Or Do you feel like you can do it all? Do the holidays stress you out?
   • I can almost guarantee that you’ll find others that are stressed out too and can change your thought to something like: “The holidays are a stressful time, it’s okay that I feel stressed.”
4. The semantic method – change the language you use to less emotionally charged language
   • Example: “I don’t belong anywhere.” A possible less emotionally charged thought “I don’t feel comfortable here”
     “I hate the holidays” to “This is a difficult time of year for me”

Helpful hints to make this most of this technique

• Every time you start to have the negative thought change it to the thought you came up with
• Make sure you believe the thought you come up with to replace the negative thought
• The replacement thought doesn’t have to be super positive
• The thought doesn’t have to be true to everyone, just true to you!

You are not alone if the holiday season is difficult for you.  Examining the evidence, the holidays are difficult for enough people that this blog was written.  Survey method: the examples are common negative thoughts that other people have shared about this time of the year. Hopefully you can try some of these techniques and have a neutral time of year (semantic method).