Parenting and Playtime

One of the joys of childhood is play.  One of the joys at any age, actually, is play.  For children, play is key to learning of all kinds.  Parents who make time to play with their children are benefiting both their relationship with their child and assisting their child to learn and grow.  Parents are often surprised to hear that positive time with their children is the most important way to improve discipline and decrease problem behaviors.  The main reason for this is the important relationship key that research has shown, which is that in any healthy relationship, there must be more positive interactions than negative interactions in order for the relationship to be healthy (at least 5:1 – five positive interactions for every negative interaction; and for really healthy relationships the ratio is 20:1).  Those positive interactions help relationships weather the hard times. For children, building those positive interactions is most easily done an activity they enjoy, which is the very definition of play.

Play changes as children grow, but with younger children, having five or ten minutes of playtime per child per day can be very healthy.  Non-rule based play is particularly positive. This is play that allows for creativity and is especially promoted through such activities and toys such as play dough, doll houses, Legos, Lincoln logs, Mr./Mrs. Potato Head, sandbox and figurines, train sets, cars, tea sets, dress up dolls or dolls of any kind, drawing (crayons, markers, etc.), and any other activity that does not have a set of goals or rules to play by.  It is very important during play time of this kind for parents to praise actions and good behaviors, reflect to the child what is happening (what they are doing), and to participate in verbal mirroring of what the child says while avoiding telling the child what to do or criticism of any kind. For young children, this allows for language development, development of gross and fine motor skills, freedom to express feelings and desires, increases learning of social interactions, and even learning how to share.  If you would like to see a video about playtime you can visit https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/videos/video_comm_vid.html for suggestions and for more tips.  The key is to have consistent time to play and build positive interactions and memories with my child.