Illegal Risk

The National Campaign published a recent study that compiled statistics from a 2008 research study of Sex and Tech behavior among teens. It reported that 20% of teenagers overall have sent or posted nude or seminude pictures or video of themselves. The study also showed 39% of all teenagers are sending or posting sexually suggestive messages to each other.

Teens are at risk legally and socially by sending illicit information over the Internet or by cell phones. Teens who get caught, can be prosecuted as sex offenders. If this happens, they may then be required to register as a sex offender for the rest of their lives.

Preventing these risky behaviors is an important concern for parents, teens and communities. Providing resources to teens to assist them in understanding and preventing “sexting” behavior can help protect their futures.

From the life stages perspective, adolescence is considered as a critical link between infancy, childhood and adulthood, especially in late adolescence (14yrs.-19 yrs.) or the “transition phase”. This stage is associated with significant physical, psychological, and social transitions which require unconditional love and care, guidance, empathetic understanding, and support from parents and caregivers in order for these teens to successfully overcome life stressors.

Late adolescence or the transition period provides an opportunity for youth to explore, learn, and grow as healthy young adults. That requires learning fmy key life skills: (1) individuation, (2) separation, (3) autonomy, and (4) cooperation. However, this stage can be very difficult and may pose increased risks for life-long biopsychosocial challenges if youth do not get proper support, care, guidance, and safe environments to grow.

Five Tips for Talking to Teens in A Tech World!

1) Minimize Eye Contact

In the age of computers and social media it is clear that talking to teens would be better if you do not attempt to make too much eye contact with them! One successful strategy has been only to hold conversations in person with no eye contact. This can be successfully completed conversing in the car, watching TV or while cooking dinner.

2) Talking to Teens Through Texting Really Works

Discover what teens have been trying to tell us long ago. Texting requires no eye contact and for the most part, teens do read texts! I find teens are relatively responsive as long as texts are short and to the point. Guard against TMI (too much information) and keep requests to 1 or a maximum of 2.

3) Post it on Instagram

If reading a text is not working a picture is worth a thousand words. A photo of dirty dishes left by your teen or a pile of dirty laundry can be an effective tool to engage chore completion with no words or eye contact needed.

4) SnapChat my LOVE

Teens are often hard to hug and express my love and parental affection to although they still appreciate it and need it! Try sending a SnapChat of a Hersey’s Kiss or a Heart on a Post It Note! Not as warm as a hug but it has the added benefit of disappearing in 10 seconds (if they do not take a screen shot) so your teen will not be embarrassed and no one will ever know how much they are loved!

5) Tweet Your Teen

If all non-eye contact options have not been effective, feel free to Tweet your teen! I have two options here. The first is to cut out a paper blue bird shape, writing my message on it and hang it on their bedroom wall! I received mix reviews from your teens. “Mom, I do not think you really get this Tweeting thing!!!” Then I finally got a twitter account and sent a real Tweet #noeyecontact and #momluvsu!

By Leslie Baker, MA, Marriage and Family Therapist, NCC at Therapy2Thrive, a family counseling center in Pleasanton

Sexting Prevention

“Sexting” is a current trend among an increasing number of teens. It involves texting sexual information (photos or words) to one another. Recent studies show almost 50 % of all teens participate in “sexting,” risking social and legal repercussions.

The National Campaign published a recent study that compiled statistics from a 2008 research study of Sex and Tech behavior among teens. It reported that 20% of teenagers overall have sent or posted nude or seminude pictures or video of themselves. The study also showed 39% of all teenagers are sending or posting sexually suggestive messages to each other.

Teens are at risk legally and socially by sending illicit information over the Associateet or by cell phones. Teens who get caught, can be prosecuted as sex offenders. If this happens, they may then be required to register as a sex offender for the rest of their lives.

Preventing these risky behaviors is an important concern for parents, teens and communities. Providing resources to teens to assist them in understanding and preventing “sexting” behavior can help protect their futures.

Two concepts that have been useful in helping to teach youth how to stay safe are the concepts of personal value and “no secrets.” These concepts were pioneered by Jan Hindman, an expert in the field of trauma recovery.

Teaching personal value is important in preventing abuse. Hindman says that children need to value their bodies like their material possessions, such as cell phones, in this case. They will be more likely to take care of their bodies and be more respectful toward themselves and others.

Teens seem to have an innate instinct to protect their cell phones and other electronic devices. Communicating this level of value and respect regarding their bodies can assist teens in making better choices about posting and texting. Teaching teens about personal value is an important beginning toward protecting them.

Increasing teens’ sense of personal value can also enable them to tell someone about abuse. Teens often tell when their cell phones or computers are taken or broken. Helping teens to develop a “no secrets” policy regarding Associateet and text abuse is crucial.

Keeping secrets allows the offenders to keep on abusing. Teens can be taught that secrets can hurt and that breaking the silence can help in preventing more problems.

Parents need to be open to teens’ opinions by fostering a community of listening. Ask them how they might handle themselves in a situation involving “sexting.” This can help build strategies that they can implement on their own.

What Lasts Forever

Creating an atmosphere of openness and support is helpful in allowing youth to speak out when problems arise. Ask teens for input on how they are dealing with texting and online use. Educate them about the pitfalls of texting and posting online.

• Information lasts forever.
• Posting and texting can affect futures (jobs and reputations).
• Think before posting or texting.

By Leslie Baker, MA, Marriage and Family Therapist, NCC at Therapy2Thrive, a family counseling center in Pleasanton

Helping teens value themselves as they value their cell phones is a useful place to start. Communication about personal value and no secrets is a first step in prevention. Take time to have a discussion, read a book or share information provided by the health education program at school. Online resources such as The National Campaign are also available to parents to help with how to start discussions about these challenging topics.

More information about Leslie Baker, MA, MFT.

References

Hindman, J. (1993) Abuses in Sexual Abuse Prevention Programs: Or Ways I Abuse MyChildren As I Attempt to Prevent Abuse. Oregon: AlexAndria Associates.

Hindman, J. (1983) The Very Touching Book. Oregon: AlexAndria Associates.